The last few weeks have been emotionally bumpy but I’ve tried to stay busy. Focusing on individual tasks has been a good distraction and there are MOUNTAINS of tasks needing attention. I’ve also re-discovered the joy of cleaning (!). I love that I can scrub away years of grime and things stay clean. DH was a mindlessly sloppy person and I had given up on cleaning behind him. It was one of those battles I quit fighting.
I’m also enjoying re-discovering my independence. Yes, I can saw lumber, mow grass, change light bulbs, cook on the grill, burn trash, grocery shop and all the other chores DH had normally done. I’m proud to be finding my ‘roar’ after all these years.
I was worried I might fall into poor eating
habits as I’ve witnessed so many of my single peers do. Yes, I’ve eaten a couple of ‘convenience meals’ but still prefer cooking (and eating) from scratch. I’ve learned to make half the quantity and often have enough for multiple meals. Because I enjoy baking, this week (for the first time), I made English muffins. I love them and am thrilled to find they are so cheap and easy to make. They’re freezable too!
Today, I will bake several versions of oatmeal cookies. I don’t care to eat oatmeal for breakfast but this will be a good way to use the new carton of DH’s oatmeal taking up space in the pantry and have sweet treats for Jacob when he visits in the coming days. I will also make pita bread for quick lunches I know we’ll enjoy.
I’ve continued working on the String Pyramids quilt. I was originally making it for DH but now it’s for his empty bed. It’s pretty and keeps my hands busy as I relax in the evenings.
Shirl
By Mary Russell Sun Jul 17th 2016 at 5:10 pm
My husband died 7 years ago. I’m still looking for someone to mow the lawn – though I do it better as I don’t mow the peonies and I do weed as I go. I’ve less laundry. Don’t mind if dinner us meatless. Need someone who will wash windows – my hubby never did and the guy I hired doesn’t complain. I have to do everything myself.
I do miss the companionship. I miss the person who says “you look so pretty today” or “let me rub your sore feet” or even “we’re out of mayo” even though it’s not until I see that the jar in the fridge is empty.
But I survived and in some ways happier.
By shirlsu Mon Jul 18th 2016 at 12:11 pm
I also miss the companionship but honestly find some days I’m happy to be alone. I mostly miss the approving pats on the back for accomplishments, no matter how small. I also miss hearing “Great dinner!” I look forward to feeling I’ve survived and the happiness that awaits.
By Barbara Showell Sun Jul 17th 2016 at 11:15 pm
Blessings on you. Your gratitude for daily things is going to help you along your way and is inspirational. And the cleaning has to be great therapy with a long lasting pay off!
By shirlsu Mon Jul 18th 2016 at 4:31 pm
Thank you Barbara. I so appreciate it.
By Allen Verderame Thu Aug 25th 2016 at 9:01 pm
Psychologist Catherine Sanders proposes three questions for the bereaved to think about and answer that can help in managing the transition to a new life.
By shirlsu Fri Aug 26th 2016 at 12:11 pm
Thanks! A friend has offered to share her copy of “Surviving Grief” with me and I am looking forward to reading it.